Monday, August 01, 2005

Interesting News Night

Item 1: Rafael Palmiero tests positive for Steroids.

Mister "Never Ever Ever" comes up with a 'plus' mere weeks after getting his 3,000th hit. This sheds light on two things: one, why he's been hitting home runs at the fastest clip of his career, and two, why he needs the Viagra.

Palmiero claims to have never "intentionally" taken stereiods, which I'm guessing is something akin to how one "accidentally" gets a Fusilli Jerry lodged up thier ass.

Item 2: Barry Bonds tells MLB.com that he will not play this season. San Francisco Chronicle reports that the arthritis in his knee has gotten so bad, me may never play again.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Say it with me: "Awwwwwwwwww".

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Today's The Day

Some good advice from the legendary Ray Stevens.