Friday, October 12, 2007

The Stupid Get Stupider

Well, those screwball idiots at the Nobel Foundation (or whatever the hell they are) did it - they went and awarded the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize to Algore for permeating his junk science on the masses. No matter that tons of meteorologists and scientists have problems with his reporting of hackneyed theorum as fact. These Nobel folks are becoming as arbitrary in their choices as Time's Man of the Year: throw some crap at a wall, see what sticks.

What I want to know, is why the schmucks at Nobel never award their little trinkets to honor things that have actually made life worth living? Where are the Nobel prizes for...

Those foam caddies that keep your beers cold.
Air conditioning (thank you, God).
Electronic guitar tuners (we, the tone deaf, appreciate it).
Stereo hi-fi equipment (and all that has come since then).
Cable de-scramblers.
Ice cold Coca-Cola on a hot day.
The "Brazilian cut".
Chicken marsala.
Bit torrents.
Blizzards on a school day (I remember that).
Martini shakers.
White Castle Hamburgers.

I could go on and on...the list is endless, really...but instead, we honor the cream of the assclown crop. It's almost a metaphor for the futility of life, I tells ya.

All I'll say is this: if you are going to give Al Gore a Nobel Prize, you have to also consider giving one to Doctor Science and Professor Irwin Corey.

Better yet, let’s give them to every weatherman everywhere. I’m down with awarding trinkets to Lloyd Lindsay Young and Al Roker. I think Tex Antoine deserves a posthumous Nobel…don’t you?

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