Monday, February 12, 2007

The Wild Week That Was

It's amazing what can happen in just a few short days, isn't it?

Super Bowl XXVVXXWWIIXXVVIIXX came and went in a blur, as sports and news organizations alike tripped over themselves pointing out that both coaches were African-American - something the coaches themselves kept trying to downplay without much success. Both Dungy and Smith are fine coaches (religious fellows, too), who led less-than-perfect teams to the Super Bowl on skill and guile. The fact that the 'skill and guile' parts of that equation are not being mentioned very much shows you that we still have a long way to go in this country if we're ever going to have a TRULY "color blind" society.

Astronauts gone wild: Space Shuttle astronaut Lisa Nowak popped a cotter pin and strapped on an adult diaper to drive from Texas to Florida in an effort to "confront" the lover of a fellow astronaut she'd fallen smitten with. "Confront" could mean a variety of things...Nowak had a card full of items that could have been used for a kidnapping, attack of some kind, or worse. There was a time when our Astronauts were the best and brightest we had to offer. This could be the first one that becomes eligible for NASA's experimental "shock therapy" program.

By now, unless you've been living under a rock you know who Anna Nicole Smith is and you know that she's dead. You also know that there's now a couple hundred million dollars just floating in the wind out there like Forrest Gump's feather. As a result, there has been a mad rush on potential daddies for Smith's baby, the likes of which we haven't seen since the California gold rush of the 1800s. Who knew there'd be such a huge queue of men willing to admit to repeated unprotected sex with a notorious skank (not named Britney)? Stay tuned.

Also in the news, the amazing snows in upstate New York. The poor folks in Oswego are digging out from over ten feet of the white stuff, while several other towns around the Great Lakes region break all-time records for massive snowfalls and low temperatures. At the same time, here in our neck of the woods we are waiting for a storm that's supposed to blow through on Tomorrow night, dumping snow and ice all over the Middle-Atlantic region, up to New England - with more record cold to follow.

Global Warming Fever: Catch it!

Last but not least...I don't know if you've ever seen it, but there's this repuslively horrible reality show on MTV called "My Super Sweet 16", where cameras follow the exploits of these conniving, disrespectful, annoying, spoiled, bratty, rich 16-year-old girls around while they whine and stomp and bitch and scream like the spoiled little bitches they are for half an hour while their poor, long-suffering parents arrange a multi-thousand dollar birthday party for the little twats. That's right - no punishment for being horrible human beings - just more rewards. It will actually make you physically ill watching it all unfold before your very eyes.

I can only assume that's pretty much what watching the Grammy Awards was like last night when the Ditsy Twits got all their "statement Grammys" for a bunch of songs that about eight people outside of Hollywood and New York have heard. I understand there was also a Police reunion, and Lionel Ritchie performed.

And people want to know why I NEVER watch awards shows.

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Today's The Day

Some good advice from the legendary Ray Stevens.