Thursday, August 21, 2003

Who Turned Out The Lights?

So, while I was in Bermuda there was this little blackout thing. There's nothing quite like being thousands of miles away from a place and seeing it in utter chaos! Thankfully, the power was back up and juicing when we docked back in New York, so we weren't dumped on the West Side with nothing but our baggage and a few six packs of Coke to try and get home with. All it takes is a couple of power lines in Ohio to go PFFT and all hell breaks lose. I got a few yuks in the lounge on the ship by imitating Bloomberg. I held a fake press briefing in which I informed everyone that rioting was now more illegal than smoking in New York City.

Seriously, though...thankfully, the power stayed on at home base in Suburbia, NJ. There was nothing more heart wrenching than the guy from Cleveland on board that realized what was going on and cried out in agony, "all that stuff in my fridge is going to have to get thrown out! AUGHH!". I feel for ya, pal.

Never one to let facts get in the way, the Village Voice - in search of some Republican to whip now that Rudy is gone - has a front cover fingering Governor Pataki as being the one responsible for the Blackout of 2003. This of course was done before the cause was fingered to First Energy of Ohio and a few downed lines east of Cleveland. Which only goes to prove what I have always said: The Voice is the finest fish wrapping and dog poop-scooping tool no money is needed to buy.

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Today's The Day

Some good advice from the legendary Ray Stevens.