Life Is Funny

There are people who will say that "life is funny" without really knowing what it means.

I don't mean "funny, ha-ha" - I mean, "funny, like a kick in the balls" funny. When you are young, you have this idea in your head of how you want your life to turn out. Then, one day you wake up and realize you are still going around and around in the same cul-de-sac of frustration you were in ten, fifteen years ago.

The funny part is that life will throw you a bone every once in a while, and you think "Ah, finally - things are starting to turn around the way I always expected they would". But - those feelings are often short-lived; plans get squashed; things get ruined; and you find yourself back in the same spiral, watching sands pass through the hourglass and days get ripped off the calendar one by one, month by month...and your dreams and blueprints that you drew out for yourself the aforementioned ten, fifteen years ago - are not even CLOSE to coming to fruition. If anything, they are even further away than ever.

Like it or not, things WILL conspire against the blueprints you draw out for yourself, knowingly or accidentally. But in the end, the biggest enemy is yourself - because you know you could have done things differently, but you chose the path of least resistance at every turn rather than fighting the good fight because you just didn't have the stomach to fight.

You can look around one day, and in the blink of an eye you can feel the walls closing in on you - or, feel the foundations you built around you being dismantled with the cruel, clinical precision of an undertaker - brick by painful brick. Before you know it, the foundation is gone, and the ever-closing walls - will snuff out the dreams like a tsunami on a single candle.

It's at that point when you reach your nadir. How to get back to where you expect - no, demand to be - seems like a distant, darkened light at the end of an endless tunnel (that you have no clue how to navigate).

Thank goodness that at the end of the day, there is AT LEAST an iced tea and a cat on your lap to look forward to.